Haunted Mansion

Foyer

When hinges creak in doorless chambers and strange and frightening sounds echo through the halls, whenever candlelights flicker where the air is deathly still, that is the time when ghosts are present, practicing their terror with ghoulish delight.

Stretch Room

Welcome, foolish mortals, to the Haunted Mansion. I am your host, your Ghost Host. Kindly step all the way in please, and make room for everyone. There's no turning back now.

Our tour begins here in this gallery, where you see paintings of some of our guests as they appeared in their corruptible, mortal state.

Your cadaverous pallor betrays an aura of foreboding, almost as though you sense a disquieting metamorphosis. Is this haunted room actually stretching? Or is it your imagination? And consider this dismaying observation: this chamber has no windows, and no doors. Which offers you this chilling challenge: to find a way out! Of course, there's always my way.

First Hall

Oh, I didn't mean to frighten you prematurely. The real chills come later. Now, as they say, "look alive," and we'll continue our little tour. And let's all stay together, please. There are several prominent ghosts who have retired here from creepy old crypts all over the world. Actually, we have 999 happy haunts here, but there's room for a thousand. Any volunteers? If you insist on lagging behind, you may not need to volunteer. \

The carriage that will carry you into the moldering sanctum of the spirit world will accommodate you and one or two loved ones. Kindly watch your step as you board, please. We spirits haunt our best in gloomy darkness, so remember, no flash pictures, please.

And now a carriage approaches to take you into the boundless realm of the supernatural. Take your loved ones by the hand, please, and kindly watch your step. Oh yes, and no flash pictures, please. We spirits are frightfully sensitive to bright lights.

In The Doom Buggie

Do not pull down on the safety bar, please; I will lower it for you. And heed this warning: the spirits will materialize only if you remain quietly seated at all times. We find it delightfully unlivable here in this ghostly retreat. Every room has wall-to-wall creeps and hot and cold running chills. Sh, listen.

All our ghosts have been dying to meet you. This one can hardly contain himself. Unfortunately, they all seem to have trouble getting through. Perhaps Madam Leota can establish contact. She has a remarkable head for materializing the disembodied.

Madam Leota

Serpents and spiders, tail of a rat
call in the spirits wherever they're at.
Rap on a table, it's time to respond,
send us a message from somewhere beyond.
Goblins and ghoulies from last Halloween
awaken the spirits with your tambourine.
Creepies and crawlies, toads in a pond
let there be music from regions beyond.
Wizards and witches wherever you dwell
give us a hint by ringing a bell.

Ghost Host

The happy haunts have received your sympathetic vibrations and are beginning to materialize. They're assembling for a swinging wake. And they'll be expecting me. I'll see you all a little later.

Grim Grinning Ghosts

When the crypt doors creak and the tombstones quake
Spooks come out for a swinging wake
Happy haunts materialize
And begin to vocalize
Grim grinning ghosts come out to socialize

Now don't close your eyes and don't try to hide
Or a silly spook may sit by your side
Shrouded in a daft disguise
They pretend to terrorize
Grim grinning ghosts come out to socialize

As the moon climbs high over the dead oak tree
Spooks arrive for the midnight spree
Creepy creeps with eerie eyes
Start to shriek and harmonize
Grim grinning ghosts come out to socialize

When you hear the knell of a requiem bell
Weird glows gleam where spirits dwell
Restless bones etherealize
Rises spooks of every size

Ghost Host

Ah, there you are. And just in time. There's a little matter I forgot to mention: beware of hitchhiking ghosts. They have selected you to fill our quota, and they'll haunt you until you return. Now I will raise the safety bar, and a ghost will follow you home.

Grim Grinning Ghosts

If you would like to join our jamboree
There's a simple rule that's compulsory
Mortals pay a token fee
Rest in peace; the haunting's free
So hurry back we would like your company

Little Leota

Hurry back, hurry back. Be sure to bring your death certificate if you decide to join us. Make final arrangements now. We've been dying to have you.


SpOOky Dreams my Friends...
~adele~